Jiraiya's Disciple
by Dannondorf
Summary: Oneshot. Hinata attempts to overcome her shyness and cheer Naruto up after he fails to bring back Sasuke, unaware that there's more to his depression than that. Strong hints of at least one-sided affection, but no actual romance.


Jiraiya's Disciple

By Dannondorf

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything related to Naruto. This story is strictly for entertainment purposes and not for profit.

**Author's Notes:** I'm back! Yay! Based on the insane number of Naruto fanfictions out there, I'm guessing this subject has already been done to death, but I hope you'll give this story a chance. Enjoy!

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Bursts of chakra emanated from his house. Hinata guessed that he was practicing maintaining his chakra, but he wasn't controlling it as well as he usually did. Naruto's abilities were deeply tied to his emotions, and if the sloppy efforts she witnessed meant anything, he was a wreck right now. She'd figured that out long before he started, though, for he hadn't left his house all day.

This wasn't right, she thought. He never stayed cooped up indoors unless he was unconscious. This behavior was so atypical of him: she could not recall a single time he had done something like this. On a beautiful day like today, Naruto should have been running around outside, training, having fun, stuffing his face with ramen, and generally just making his loud presence known, all the while sporting that cute, goofy, wonderful grin.

But Hinata didn't have to use her Byakugan to know he probably wasn't wearing anything resembling a grin at the moment. The attempt to bring Sasuke back to Konoha had failed. Even after seeing Naruto's initial depression, everyone had assumed that he would snap out of it soon and bounce back the way he always did, but now almost two days had passed with no signs of him cheering up.

Of course, if such a sign had been given, none would have noticed it, for no one had spent much time with him since his return from the botched mission. Everyone sensed his sadness and determined that he needed some time to himself. Even Sakura and Kakashi were leaving him to his own devices. Hinata had of course thought of going to Naruto and seeing if there was anything she could do to help, but decided against it: aside from the fact that she couldn't even talk to him in a normal situation without blushing and getting nervous, this was an incredibly personal matter for him, and if those closest to him thought it unfit to confront him, then what business did she, someone he didn't know as well as his sensei or Sakura, have intruding on him? She knew nothing about the relationship between him and Sasuke, so what could she do to comfort him?

She had told herself this plenty of times, yet she had spent the majority of the day watching his house from a safe distance. Indecision settled in as thoughts that she shouldn't bother him clashed with the way his front door seemed to beckon her forward. It would be so easy to simply knock and ask if he was all right.

Indecision, she believed, was one of her biggest flaws. Or no, not indecision exactly: she could recall many instances when she had silently decided to herself with finality that she was going to do something. But all too often she faltered in the execution of her plans when her shy, timid, nervous personality got in the way. Impotence was her curse, not indecision.

Hinata broke her staring match with the door and closed her eyes. She reasoned not for the first time that if she really wanted to, she could use her Byakugan to peek inside and make sure he was okay, but the idea was refuted just as quickly as it had been the last time. To her, that would be even more invasive than knocking on his door.

She told herself to walk away and leave him be. After all, locking himself in was a sure sign that he wanted to be alone. But just as she could not make herself leave when she first arrived at her watching spot, she could not tear herself away now. Cursing her inability to do anything, she let a tear of dejected frustration form in her eye. Why was she so weak?

The thought left quickly, though, as she mentally declared that one tear was enough. She knew that if her thoughts continued in this way, she would end up bawling in the middle of the street, and she wished to avoid drawing others' attention at all costs while in her current emotional state. The solution was more optimistic thoughts, she told herself. She was stronger than she used to be. Although for the most part she still regarded herself as weak, she had learned she was capable of moments of strength, thanks to Naruto. His courage, his refusal to give up in anything, and his ability to always pick himself up and keep going after he made a mistake were such an inspiration to her. _He_ was such an inspiration to her.

Thinking about the blond ninja was tricky business. Sometimes it upset her and led to berating herself for never being able to approach him or get him to notice her. Other times it summoned her inner strength and enabled her to do her very best. And the rest of time…

She actually smiled as the tear fell from her face. A trivial part of her was aware and somewhat worried about the sudden mood change, but sometimes thinking about Naruto made her feel so…happy. And it was then that she realized she _had_ come a long way. Moments like this, when she was able to recover from the sadness that used to conquer her so easily, were testament to how she had changed.

These moments were traditionally brief, but when they happened she marveled at how clearly she could think without despair clouding her judgment. It was all because of him. She owed him. And although he may not need her help right now, she wasn't sure she could forgive herself for leaving without even checking on him. She would show herself that she could be strong, and for once, she would show him as well.

The idea barely registered in her mind before the moment wore off and her daring thoughts left. Insecurity returned, but she remembered the decision she made just a second ago when she was feeling brave. She was going to see him. Her brain screamed at her not to, but she trusted the decisions she made in those rare moments of clarity.

At last the decision was made. Nervously she stood and wiped the moisture from her face. Seeing him always made her apprehensive, and the idea of seeing him when he didn't want to be seen was having twice the effect. But Hinata forced down the negative thoughts and tried to maintain her sudden boldness.

At first her steps were quick and her strides long, the passion of a decision just made pushing her forward, but as she got closer, the familiar trepidation began building up. Her steps became slow, cautious, and small, as if preparing her to flee at the first sign of danger. What if visiting only made things worse? What if it angered him? She ignored the doubts, repeating to herself that she was not going to shrink away from this. A long time passed before she arrived at the door, but once there she didn't hesitate to rap lightly on it.

As soon as she pulled her hand away, though, she regretted her lack of hesitation, afraid she had acted too quickly without thinking. Her fears overwhelmed her. What had she just done? This wasn't like her at all. Naruto didn't need her, and bothering him would only make things worse. For an instant, she panicked and abandoned all reason, forgetting what she had planned on doing and drawing a terrifying blank when she tried to remember what she was going to say to him. Her mind yelled at her that it wasn't too late to escape. If she started running now, she could get away before he saw her.

But when noises from the inside of the house reached her ears, she froze. The sound of footsteps knocked her back to her senses, but right when she was about to bolt, the door opened. "Hello?"

Hinata gulped as a somewhat disheveled Naruto addressed her from the doorway. Repeating "stay calm" in her head, she focused on the details of his appearance, partly to assess his condition and partly to prevent further panicking.

He squinted against the sun, indicating he had not been outside that day, though that part she had already known. His hair didn't stick up so much as it usually did: it was a bit oily and didn't stand up the way she was accustomed to seeing, meaning it had been slightly too long since his last bath, a fact further evidenced by the dirtier-than-normal clothes. Finally, he held the door as he regarded her, meaning he did not expect or else did not want this encounter to last long before he went back inside.

A brief glance was all she needed to notice these things, and once it was over she averted her eyes and poked her index fingers together, having nothing else to distract her from how anxious she was.

"Oh. Hi, Hinata." No hyper exclamations. Just a simple greeting that, whether he knew it or not, revealed the extent of his downcast mood. He never had been any good at hiding his feelings, preferring mostly to act on them rather than suppress them, but she read in his voice that he was masking his sadness so she wouldn't worry over him. A ridiculous notion, she thought, considering she knew him better than almost anyone.

Her heart broke as she realized he was hiding from her. Did he really think so little of her that he didn't want her help when she was offering? They had only been in each other's company for a few seconds, and only four words had been spoken, but already she felt like crying. He had too much power over her; the most casual comment could make her the happiest girl in the world, but the smallest hint of apathy could break her, and right now she saw indifference in every one of his features: from the lackadaisical posture, to the dirty clothes he hadn't cared to change out of, to the face that didn't reflect any passion at all, to the words he'd spoken which didn't carry that special Naruto bravado. It was horrible, a mere shell of the person she was so fond of, and she wanted more than anything for him to cheer up so she would never have to see him like this again.

Naruto stared at his guest and waited for her to say something, neither happiness nor annoyance showing on his face. He had no idea what she was doing at his house. She had never come here before. His mind was not working as well as it should have been, having been trapped in a thoughtless despair most of the day. He almost didn't notice her expression become pained, but when he did, some of the cobwebs in his head disappeared and his mind woke up. "Hinata? Are you all right?"

"I, um…" She was stuttering, just as she always did. She tried to say something along the lines of, "Don't worry about me, I'm the one worried about _you_," but couldn't form her thoughts into a coherent sentence. "Well, I…can…can I come inside?" She didn't actually want passage into his home, but she had to find a way to stall for a few seconds until she regained some semblance of composure.

Naruto's demeanor grew uncharacteristically serious; her message must have been important for her to seek him out when she normally avoided his gaze. Had something happened to her or one of his other friends? Easily reading her discomfort, he gave a small grin to put her at ease. "Sure."

It worked. Hinata calmed somewhat, no longer fidgeting with her fingers, though she blushed slightly after realizing what she had just asked. As he held the door open from the inside, she moved a little more quickly than she usually did, and, desperate to avoid his gaze, kept her eyes on the ground, only daring to look up when she had fully entered his home and had her back to him.

She surveyed her surroundings with great interest. His scent, which she seldom ventured close enough to the boy to take in, covered the entire room in a way that would have been threatening if she didn't find it so intoxicating. It floated off his bed, off his chair, and even off the floor and the walls. The aroma teased her relentlessly, caressing her nose and staining her cheeks red. Her heart beat more quickly as she became acutely aware of her predicament: she was in Naruto's bedroom with none but him. No one was watching, and no one knew she was there.

Naruto watched her growing unease and smiled. Not the half-hearted smile he had offered outside, but a genuine grin. Often he thought she was weird when he witnessed her quiet, timid, thoughtfulness, but sometimes he admired her for it, wishing he could be like her instead of a hyperactive knucklehead.

Hinata turned around and felt a slight calm fall over her upon seeing that grin she loved so much. Now slightly more confident, she felt empowered to speak. "Naruto," she began quietly, "is everything okay?"

His grin drooped. Their eyes locked, and astonishingly she did not look away. He saw the desperation in her eyes, silently pleading him to be honest. So that's what she was after, he thought. Nothing had happened to his friends: she had come to check up on him. He'd planned to avoid conversations like this by staying inside, but now she had forced one upon him, and he couldn't lie to her; she so rarely asked anything of him, and he had never seen her eyes beg like they were doing now. "…No," he replied simply.

He hoped telling the truth would satisfy her at least enough to erase the pain in her transparent gaze, but answering with a negative did the exact opposite. "Is there…anything I can do to help?"

"I'm sorry, but I kind of want to be alone right now." He didn't mean to hurt her feelings—she was only trying to help—but telling the truth seemed like the best thing to do. Already he regretted his word choice, though, when he noticed the effect it had on her.

The tears she had been holding back were close to breaking free. He wanted her to leave? After she had spent so long gathering the courage to see him? No…there had to be more she could do. Her presence alone wasn't enough to erase his sadness, but there was still more she could do. She could…she could…

What _could_ she do? She had no comforting words of wisdom, no advice. She didn't understand the situation well enough to have such things. "Please…can we just talk?"

Seeing how greatly he had upset her and how determined she still was, he couldn't find it in him to say no. Sighing in resignation, he took a seat on his bed to let her know she had his attention and braced himself for the impending unpleasant dialogue.

Nonetheless, the seconds ticked by in silence. She had not been prepared for a "yes" and now couldn't follow up with anything, taking so long to plot her next move that she had time to blink her unshed tears away. At length she sat next to him hoping the gesture would make him more comfortable, though she kept a foot and a half of space between them to allay her own fears. An equally long time passed with them sitting side by side before she reasoned that maybe if he explained things to her, she could find a solution to his problem. "Naruto," she began softly, unsurely, "what is Sasuke like?"

He regarded her with mild surprise, but chose not to question the abrupt topic change. "What? Do you seriously not know him?"

"I don't."

"Huh. You know, it's pretty weird to like someone when you don't know them."

"Actually, I don't really like him that much."

Naruto almost responded but then did a double-take. "Wait, holy—! I mean, that's—really?"

"Really."

His jaw dropped comically and Hinata smiled, glad to see his true self emerging. "You're kidding! Wow! I guess I just assumed that _every_ girl had a thing for him."

"I…never found him very interesting. What is he like?"

He chuckled darkly. "He acts like a jerk all the time and thinks he's better than everyone. All he ever thinks about is killing his brother, and he pretends not to care about anything or anybody else. He calls me 'loser' more than he calls me 'Naruto.' "

She waited for him to keep going, to finish the list of negative traits and start on the positives, but he simply stopped. Confused, she finally asked what had been on her mind the entire day. "If he's like that, then…why do you care about him?"

He didn't answer right off, and Hinata almost believed that he didn't have an answer. But when he spoke again, she realized he had taken the moment to collect his thoughts. "He…he makes Sakura happy," he said, a fleeting sadness crossing his features. "Most girls like him because he's cool or whatever, but she actually cares for him. All she wants is for him to accept her."

Hinata for the first time contemplated the possibility that the failed mission wasn't the only thing bothering him: he was also coming to terms with the fact that Sakura did not care for him the way he wanted her to. Naruto was heartbroken.

Overcome with sorrow for him, she opened her mouth to mutter some improvised sympathetic words, but he saw what she was doing and stopped her. "It's all right. I'm not right for her. She needs someone who can make her happy, and only he can do that. That's why I have to bring him back. But…he's strong. When I finally made it to Sasuke a few days ago, we fought. I knew that if I could just beat him, we could take him back, but he tore me apart. I wasn't strong enough to beat him, and I don't know if I ever will be."

Any trace of relief that had been present in him up to this point vanished as he spoke these words, and she found the moment she had waited for. Somehow, she knew exactly what to say. "N-Naruto, do you remember when you fought Kiba in the Chunin exams? Everyone was so sure you'd lose, that you wouldn't stand a chance against him. But there was one person who knew that wouldn't happen." Rather than reveal the identity of the one she spoke of, Hinata let the statement hang.

Naruto stared at her for a moment, trying to figure out what she was getting at. She blushed and smiled slightly under his scrutiny. "…You?" He asked in shock.

She nodded shyly. "When I saw you and Kiba square off, I just knew you would surprise everyone. I was so happy. You had always worked so hard to keep up with the rest of us, and finally everyone was able to see you. You finally got your chance to prove everyone wrong about you. And that's not all. Even though you showed them you were tough when you won, no one believed you would stand a chance against Neji in the next round. But you proved them wrong _again_. Even though people keep underestimating you and looking down on you, you continue to reach new levels of strength. Y-you are strong, Naruto. And I know you're only going to get stronger. I believe in you." Hinata was getting lightheaded, but she would not be deterred, not until she was absolutely sure he was feeling better. Her resolve didn't make what she wanted to do next any easier, though. Fear gripped her as she tentatively reached out and hugged him.

Naruto instinctively stiffened. Hinata _never_ hugged him like this. Most of the time she fainted or moved away when he touched her, like she was afraid. He had eventually come to the conclusion that she disliked physical contact, yet now she was holding him. She cared about him enough that she was willing to push aside her fears to make him feel better. He felt the full weight of the honor and hugged her back, elated at the realization of how wonderful his friend was.

Hinata, on the other hand, was terrified. She hadn't anticipated this happening, and she was sure he could hear her heart beating. But at the same time, holding him like this—and having him hold her in return—was an incredible experience. Her body started shaking almost unnoticeably, and she feared that her thoroughly-flushed face might burst into flame.

"Thanks for being here for me, Hinata."

Hinata smiled warmly. "I will always be here for you…Naruto…"

He squeezed harder to silently thank her again, and her arms suddenly released him. Confused, he pulled back and discovered she had gone limp in his arms: she'd finally reached her limit. He returned the warm smile he didn't see her give, touched that she had risked fainting just to make him feel better.

The reality of her unconscious form didn't frighten him as much as it used to. Having dealt with Hinata's fainting spells before, Naruto was well-versed in how to respond to this change of events even though he wasn't usually the one who took care of her. He knew she was in no real danger: this was just the way she was. He stood and laid her on the bed, pulling the blanket out from under her to cover her with.

Naruto felt a lot better. Hinata was right: he was strong. But he needed to be stronger if he wanted to beat Sasuke. It was time to train harder than he ever had before. He was tempted to just run to the training grounds and push himself to exhaustion, but a tiny voice inside, a voice he usually ignored, told him to think more carefully. Sasuke in his pursuit of power was likely getting stronger by the minute. To catch up, Naruto would have to do better than simply wear himself out each day. He needed direction, guidance. He needed a sensei who could train him constantly, and he had decided that morning on Pervy Sage. He planned to leave Konoha with the Toad Sage and train under him for a couple years.

But Hinata…Naruto looked at her sadly. Did he really want to leave, right when they were becoming such good friends? He obviously meant a lot to her, and he knew he was starting to see her more as a best friend and less as the shy, quiet, weird girl who always fainted. She had done so much for him. It wasn't right for him to just leave, but bringing Sasuke back started with becoming more powerful.

He froze mentally. Becoming more powerful…that was Sasuke's goal too, wasn't it? And he had abandoned his friends for a chance at attaining it. Was Naruto going to do the same? Would leaving for a couple years with Pervy Sage be the same as what his Uchiha friend had done?

No, he told himself. No matter what, he would never forget the people in this village. Many still scorned him for housing the fox demon or looked down on him for other reasons, but he'd always hold some people close to his heart, no matter what. Leaving for a few years wouldn't change how he felt about them.

But would it change how they felt about him? When he returned, would his friendship with them be lesser because of his absence? Surely they would at least remember him, but would things be as good as they had been? Would Hinata still care about him as much as she did now?

Probably not, he thought as his heart sank. But then again…_"I will always be here for you…Naruto…"_ He had heard Jiraiya mutter something once when writing one of his "books." Absence makes the heart live longer? Absence makes the heart grow stronger? Fonder? Longer? He didn't remember, and he didn't quite get the meaning behind it, but the saying comforted him. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad. It wasn't like he was never coming back. His friends would understand.

A yawn escaped as his intense indoor training session caught up to him. Sleeping in the same small bed as Hinata would neither be comfortable nor proper, so he retrieved an extra bedspread and lay on top of it. He'd leave soon, but for now he was content to rest and spend his last few days in Konoha beside her.


End file.
